Is Your Tween or Teen Building the Right Skills?

Were you taught at a very young age that in order to be successful, you would need to do the following…?

-get good grades

-get high SAT and/or ACT scores

-participate in extracurricular activities that fill up your schedule

-volunteer as much as you can

-graduate from a prestigious college or Ivy League school

This is what I was told, and I thought if I just did all of these things, I could easily find a great job and be successful. Well, I checked off every single box and realized that there was so much more I needed to learn to have the kind of success I wanted.

If I could go back in time, I would have done things differently. I wish someone had told me that success is not just about getting a good job or how much you earn. There are several life domains areas that we need to look at.

Some of them include spiritual, physical, emotional, intellectual, relationships (how we relate and connect with others), finances, career (how we are using our gifts and passions), etc.

Let’s look at the emotional domain. I’m sure you have heard or read the news about how mental health is impacting our youth. Many of them don’t know how to manage one’s stress or anxiety. And many do not have the self-awareness to know why they feel the way they do or how to manage their responses to certain situations or even a simple skill as reflecting on themselves so they can do better.

As you can see, if we are not doing well emotionally or physically, it will be very challenging to fulfill any role we are placed in. You may be able to get your dream job, but if you can’t even perform at an optimal level, your job will not last.

Another domain that I feel that is lacking in many of the individuals I have met is relationships.

If you don’t know how to work with others or communicate effectively, you are not going to be able to accomplish your goals or have good working relationships. Being able to resolve conflicts is a skill and if we don’t know how to actively listen and set our emotions aside, it’s really hard to maintain peace with anybody we encounter. Because of this, making friends or finding a significant other can be extremely difficult.

You have heard of the phrase, “It’s not what you know, but who you know.” Well, if you can’t even connect with others, people are not going to trust you or refer you to a job even if you have all the qualifications. Building any kind of relationships begins with connection and if you can’t even get the connection, you won’t be able to build trust and without trust, you won’t have any influence on others.

So what are the skills that we need to have to be successful? Certainly, they are not just knowledge you just memorize and regurgitate. Many of these skills I’m talking about can’t really be measured by a standardized test, but they can be observed, learned, and practiced.

Focusing on personal growth, social emotional learning competencies, and leaderships skills can greatly benefit them. These skills can be transferable anywhere they go regardless of what kind of job they have. So is your tween or teen learning these skills? If not, why not?

Embrace Her Journey is an online community that equips and empowers tween and teen girls so they can lead the life they were created for. Want to learn more? Check out embraceherjourney.com or email Julie Tang to learn more.

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